Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
