Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
