is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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