planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Is it because I queefed?
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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