I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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