the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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