if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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