He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
