Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
