I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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