Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Randomize
