CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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