i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
