I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
