So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Randomize
