So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
