smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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