She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
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