I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
