Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
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