First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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