yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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