The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
