He had one of those small greek statue penises
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
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