ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
