I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
