two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Randomize
