I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Randomize
