I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize