At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize