i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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