i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
