I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
I've blown a few things in my day
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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