Who wears a wallet chain?!
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
