and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Is it because I queefed?
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
