I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I smell like Dick and happiness
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
