I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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