My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
