When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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