I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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