I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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