the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
