Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
