they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
