upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
