can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Welp...herpes.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize