just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
