I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Randomize
