More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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