just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
