Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
